Who Cares About Representation, NO TAXATION!

Title: "No, No! Not That Way" Locati...

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Now don’t take me wrong, I am as much against taxes as the next person, I am British after all. And we did make a folk hero out of someone who didn’t just avoid and evade taxation, but actively went and nicked it back off the tax man.  Legend has it the ill gotten gains were then re-distributed to the poor. Personally I suspect that that the re-distribution, took place in Inns, Taverns, and eating houses, with a goodly percentage ending up hidden in various items of underwear attiring comely and obliging Wenches. Though I strongly suspect Will Scarlet’s tastes took a different direction. (Seriously Red Stockings?) I am also sure that Robin Hood and Little John were just as bad as Friar Tuck.

Now the British however did not go on to found a state on a refusal to pay tax. Rather the reverse in fact: I am sorry to inform the world, that it was the British that invented ‘Income Tax.’ (This is of course an eternal shame and we will pay penance for it I am sure, {Ah now, wasn’t penance a kind of tax exacted by the Christian Church, making all those poverty stricken priests extraordinarily rich? Ah well}) Having delivered this creation of the Devil onto the world, it would be nice to report that it had been for some worthy cause, funding the poorhouses perhaps, or fighting the evils of the Demon Drink. But sadly no, it was to buy weapons and build warships to be precise.

It was that pesky Napoleon, something had to be done about him, he even had a plan to invade Britain, and that could not be allowed to happen. Not after the last time, I mean to say a king got shot in the eye for heavens sake. What would it look like if George the third got shot in the eye, he was mad enough to begin with, with an arrow in his eye too, he would have been, Livid.

OK, OK, I know there’s bound to be the odd purist out there who will insist that Income Tax was invented by the Chinese, emperor  Wang Mang of the Xin Dynasty, in 10 CE, but it stopped being collected after he died thirteen years later. We are still doing it 2 centuries later, and everyone else has copied us, which is why the British version is so much better. (Sings Rule Britannia, with hand over where heart would be, if it was about three inches to the left of where it actually is. {People always do this})

Having defeated Napoleon, with a little help from the Prussians, The British discovered that Income tax was such a good way to raise money, that they were very reluctant to stop using it. George the third was in no condition to object, since at the time he was busy awarding Medals to a group of rather bemused mice, for services during the great Cheese war of 1813. So William Pitt (The Younger) carried on collecting it, it’s tempting to wonder if he had half an eye on the spiraling debt of Crown Prince George, soon to be George IV, womaniser, itinerant gambler, and general all round waste of space. (Friar Tuck would have enjoyed his company.)

Ironically,  George the third, the American Colonies and taxation are inexorably intertwined. This is prone to happen when monarchs live a long time, they seem to have been arround when almost everything interesting happened. The most interesting thing that happens whilst the short lived ones are around tends to be when and how they died, Lady Jane Grey for instance.

America was of course famously founded on the principle of no taxation without representation. With disgruntled early Americans dumping 342 crates of tea into Boston harbor in protest, at paying taxes to Britain without representatives in the British parliament, sparking the American War of Independence, and making the worlds largest and saltiest ever Cuppa. Something which is no doubt responsible for the continuing inability of Americans to make a decent cup of Tea. They forgot the milk for one thing.

These days however, one wonders if Americans have forgotten the bit about representation, and are just focused on ‘no taxation’, even when they are in debt to the tune of 14.3 trillion (Yes trillion, 12 zeros, 12 count them, 000,000,000,000, Only astronomers talk about bigger numbers than this) Dollars, perhaps that’s where Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac got the idea, if the government can run the country like this why not the average poor household.

I would wonder what the founding fathers of the USA would have thought, except that I suspect a certain Hemp Farmer would have just rolled a big one and put it out of his mind. (Why did, George Washington, separate the male and female plants?) Mind you the first US president was not half so odd as Paul Revere, I mean using gunpowder for toothpaste, now that is seriously strange, either George was giving him his best crop, or there were some odd mushrooms round the back of the dental surgery. Benjamin Franklins attempts to attract lightning seem quite sane in comparison.

Seriously, though, the US is Mortgaged to the hilt, it needs to start paying more than the interest back, and so is the UK, and it needs to do the same.


About Transremaxculver

An entirely fictitious username I created for posting on 'alt.religion.scientology', Scientology is something of which I am highly critical. For those of you who don't know, the Church of Scientology have a habit of making life very uncomfortable for even the most legitimate of critics, which is why this username is completely anonymous. Anyway I have become quite fond of this username, and although it has to some extent outgrown it's original purpose, I think a blog is perhaps the right place for me/it to continue to grow and develop.
This entry was posted in Humour, My Humour, Political Economics, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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