Mick (The Mole) Robinson reporting:
After several days of speculation concerning the whereabouts of Number Ten Downing Street, I am pleased to inform you that Number Ten has been found. The Story was first reported this morning as an exclusive in the Daily Reflector A British tourist in Nice spotted Number Ten, whilst holidaying in the Southern French City. According to the Daily Reflector Mrs Twitch said:
“Well our villa overlooks the villas on the hillside below, and as I looked out over the city this morning, I just saw Number Ten on the veranda of the villa just down the hill from us, I recognised it straight away of course, and immediately told my husband.”
The Daily Reflector goes on to report that Mr Twitch said:
“Well naturally I was surprised, and then thought to myself, we could have a nice little earner here, so immediately called the Daily Reflector, and offered them the story, of course our bank balance looks somewhat more respectable now, paying for our holiday three times over in fact.”
After the Story broke this morning Number Ten released the following Statement:
“I can only apologise to those closest to me for causing them any concern, however things had become very difficult, I was feeling very depressed about everything. I did not feel that I was able to conduct private conversations, privately and that this was effecting decision making. I was also concerned that some of the people close to me were associating with some quite undesirable people, and were unwilling to listen to advice concerning this. In addition to this, all the bugs were beginning to make me itch.
It seems that whilst I have been away some of these concerns have been resolved and having some time away from the situation has helped me get some perspective on things.
I intend to spend a couple more days recuperating here before retuning to my usual position in Downing street. I would ask the media and the general public to respect my privacy in the mean time.
So there you have it Ten Downing Street is safe and well and we can expect a return to normal service very soon.