An Improbable Narrative

A little while ago on alt.religion.scientology I had; for reasons I forget; become embroiled in a rather silly conversation, the practical upshot of which was that I had defended one particularly nonsensical comment of mine by saying:

> > Or rather perfect logic.

To which the other person posting nonsensical comments with the username ‘tholen- -‘ something or other, but which consensus had renamed Tholenbot, had replied.

> It’s not logical to re-post the same sentence several times over in the
> same thread, Spock.

Somehow this only amplified my sense of silliness and I replied:

That depends on the inherent level of improbability in operation. If levels are high enough, it becomes almost certain that at some point the same sentence posted repeatedly will spontaneously emerge from the matrix as a completely accurate transcription of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. And when this happens, following the principles of narrative
causality, Tholenbot will instantaneously transform into a rather surprised looking monkey.

Please note that improbability and narrative causality are intricately connected, however because they are also probably influenced by quantum states, it is impossible to know how improbable a narrative is at the same time as knowing how certain the causality is to give rise to an improbable narrative.

To which another poster ‘Robert James‘ (Who deletes his posts after a few days, so if you go to look you will only find my replies quoting him) responded as follows:

?
??
???
??
?
Can I… can I buy some of the good stuff off you?

Because of the connotations of this I wondered what the formula for my silly mood might be? So quite quickly came up with the following reply.      Please note there is a Key following the post you might want to reference.

A purchase is not necessary, It is quite easy to knock up something  for yourself. Although the complete formula is somewhat complex, a reasonably active compound can be contrived using the following freely available ingredients.

Firstly combine roughly equal amounts of, DNA, TDJT, and TAPS M. Please note that TDJT and TAPS M are both noble so should be careful contained prior to mixing. Despite being noble TAPS M is particularly noted for it’s volatility and careful handling is recommended, allowing to rest for a time if becoming too energetic. Slight variations in amounts will have little effect on how active the compound is, but may affect the flavour.

large portions of PEC and DSJM should be combined separately to create TW3, however care should be taken not to allow C2H5OH to come into contact with PEC in particular which may become volatile and unpredictable or to a lesser extent DSJM, which is more likely to laugh uncontrollably and possibly play the piano. Mix up an equal portion of MPFS, also being careful not to allow the GAC to come into contact with C2H5OH, for similar reasons to those described for PEC above, and please also note that MEP is also noble.

The TW3 and MPFS Should be mixed with a helping of MB (Formerly known as MK) and combined with the TVG present in the MPFS should help the compounds portability, particularly across the North Atlantic. Portability will be further enhanced by including JAB and DEA, at this point BB may result, on no account should JAB be allowed to come into contact with C17H21NO4, should this occur on no account should JAB be replaced with JSG, to prevent formation of BB O3 which whilst active does not have the potency of the original.

To complete the compound vigorously mix the results of previous steps with NRG.

Close curtains, ensure supply of C10H14N2 delivery tubes, at least half a pack. Don light attenuating protective spectacles, check distance to destination, and strike object forcefully.

Enjoy.

KEY

BB                              = Blues Brothers
BB2 O3                      = Blues Brothers 2000
C10H14N2                = Nicotine
C2H5OH                   = Ethanol (Common Alcohol)
C17H21NO4             = Cocaine
DEA                           = Daniel Edward “Dan” Aykroyd,
DNA                           = Douglas Noel Adams
DSJM                         = Dudley Stuart John Moore, CBE
EI                               = Eric Idle
JAB                            = John Adam Belushi
JSG                            = John Stephen Goodman
MB (Formerly MK) = Mel Brooks (born Melvin Kaminsky)
MEP                           = Michael Edward Palin, CBE FRGS
NRG                           = Neil Richard Gaiman
PEC                            = Peter Edward Cook
TAPS M                    = Terence Alan Patrick Seán “Spike” Milligan KBE
TBPJ                         = Terence Graham Parry Jones
TDJP                         = Sir Terrance David John Pratchet. OBE
TVG                          = Terrence Vance “Terry” Gilliam
TW3                          = That was the week that was.

And when I started this blog, I thought it might raise a smile here.

TRC

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About Transremaxculver

An entirely fictitious username I created for posting on 'alt.religion.scientology', Scientology is something of which I am highly critical. For those of you who don't know, the Church of Scientology have a habit of making life very uncomfortable for even the most legitimate of critics, which is why this username is completely anonymous. Anyway I have become quite fond of this username, and although it has to some extent outgrown it's original purpose, I think a blog is perhaps the right place for me/it to continue to grow and develop.
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